Yes, this is in response to a recent event.
No, I don’t want to talk about it — but I should.
Recognize failure out loud, and you become its master.
You apply for a job, you carefully craft your resume, you brush up your portfolio, you finally land an interview, you travel to the office, you wear your best suit, you bring your A-game, you come prepared, you give it all you’ve got, you fail.
You conceive of a brilliant new startup, you code the prototype in your free time, you think up all the plans, you work hard to get investors, you get just enough to get you up and running, you hire a co-founder to make this happen, you spend late nights and exhausting weekends turning your idea into a reality, you make your pitches, you run sales, marketing, operations, all the moving parts you don’t care about but need to be moved to make your dream happen, you finally start gaining traction, the market shifts, you fail.
You get that long-awaited promotion, at last you’re running the department you toiled so long for, you practice your managerial craft, you take lessons on project management and interpersonal relations, you collaborate with others, you stress yourself out to protect your team members, you coordinate with higher-ups, you take initiative to make the company better, you give your all, you don’t quite fit in the higher echelons, you get fired, you fail.
The sting is powerful, strong enough to make any prior success fade to the background. You rationalize those as flukes; this failure is your reality.
But let me tell you: you MUST move on.
Easy to say, hard to do, I know, but there’s a secret.
Failure indicates the presence of a gap between your perception and reality.
You must do two things:
1 .Identify this gap.
2. Close this gap.
Identifying the gap is usually the simpler of the two.
Failed to get a job? You may be lacking skills you didn’t realize, or didn’t want to admit to yourself you were missing. Think back on your interview, scrutinize each question. If you can, ask the people with whom you interviewed for follow-up, for any clarification they can give you on why they passed you up. Maybe there was simply a difference in culture, or maybe the company doesn’t know a good thing when they see one — but either way, don’t decide until you have the facts. That way, you can have a context to improve upon.
Failed to make your startup succeed? Was one of the many hats a startup CEO wears not a good fit? Did you misunderstand the market you were aiming at? All it takes is one mistake — and sometimes not even that much. If it was just a matter of luck, maybe you need to try again; but most bad luck has a bad decision somewhere behind it. You’ve heard the axiom: “there’s no such thing as luck.” Maybe not 100% true, but there’s a lot of truth behind it.
Messed up that promotion? Management (or just higher-level work) can be an entirely different beast than work you’re used to. It can require completely different skills, and a new approach. If you don’t see it coming, it can hurt. Even if you do see it coming, it can hurt. Talk to whomever you can; learn what went wrong, then learn what could go right next time. In the meantime, you have gained valuable experience in what it’s like to lead.
Failure hurts at an emotional level, but it can be so much more if you approach it on an intellectual level. Like in science, negative results can sometimes teach you much more than positive results ever could.
Make the most out of your rejection, and use it to secure success the next time around.
Don’t ever give up.